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Random Rumblings, the Article.
(By Kingdom_of_Zito)
Oh, I just know Saber
wakes up in the morning and feels a rush of excitement everytime he sees the
white sox are tied for the best record in the league. Suppose he brushes
his teeth while thinking of ways to demoralize Eli Banuelos’ credibility.
Me personally, I like to pretend I’m a facist dictator, in the vein of V for
Vendetta which opens this weekend, and I have league wide control over
S3SL. At the snap of my fingers, any deal can happen. And Mission doesn’t
even have to enter any lineups in, no nothing, because I just think of
something in the game, and it happens. So what if I had all that fantastic
e-power?
1. First, I’d force
Oakland to call up about 6-7 players that should be on their major league
roster. This includes the 10 million dollar man Jason Pridie, as well as my
former pitchers Jose Valverde and Scott Tyler. This team’s only 4 under in
a moderately weak division, and 9 back from 1st place. They’d make it
interesting if I could assemble their roster.
2. I’d force Tampa Bay and
Los Angeles to take on major league ready talent. I know, it’s a stretch
for them, but they have to win some games sooner and not later. I think
I’ll give the rays a couple of yankees, let’s say, Alfonso Cuevas and Sam
Rodriguez. And then I’ll give them Texas’ Greg Hannum and Ronald Belizario.
Finally, I’ll give them Andre Willard, because God knows Cincinnati doesn’t
need him. As for L.A., I’d just transplant the entire Florida Marlins team
into their system. The New Florida will just have to make up a team out of
the remaining free agents. I’ll even contribute Jung Bong to that quest.
3. I’d contract Boston and
San Francisco, cause, let’s face it.
4. I would rename the Cy
Young award the Robert Bowers award, frankly, a closer logging 156 innings
as of right now, right before the Ammy draft, is a whole lot more exciting
than some guy before my time. Who needs history.
5. I’d make sure Cleveland
had the 13-15 fastest players in the league, just to see how many stolen
bases Bipster’s squad can rack up. That even means players out of position,
possibly limited power, but who knows. It would redefine Physics and
constant movement.
6. Since we contracted
Boston, I’d put that Vladimer Whateverhe’scalled on his rightful team, the
Yankees. Since I also took Rodriguez away from the yankees, we’ll give them
all of Boston’s pitching. Then I’ll throw Sanor and Brown at Texas.
Cincinnati’s compensation for Willard will be.. all of San Francisco.
7. I’m going to kick the
Royals and Twins out of my division. Twins, they’re going to the A.L. West,
while Seattle goes to the A.L. East. Royals, they’re going to the N.L.
West. To replace the royals and twins in my division, I’m bringing in the
astros, to keep last place all warm and cuddly. Alright, I’m kidding
Huskerfan. Bipster’s doing that job.
8. I’ll also control the
royals because I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen their GM ever since I joined.
9. I’m renaming the New
Yorks, because I don’t like New York. Be gone, New York. The yankees will
now be the Vermont Yankees. The mets will now be the Delaware Mets. Props
to the lesser populated states.
10. @#$% Comerica. I’m
getting the Hell out of hitter’s Hell. I’d consider sharing with
Aabbbblllaaaa in Coors, but no, he’s a good man and needs his space. So I’m
going to transplant Hiram Bithorn to Detroit, so I can play in a tiny park.
Finally, Shin-Soo Choo will hit some homeruns.
In other real sim
news...
Without a doubt, this
season’s ammy draft is the deepest pitching wise since I arrived... Florida
and Atlanta, combined, have fewer errors than six teams. Boston has the
most double plays turned, with 51... I’m still trying to figure out how
Nobuyori Matsusuke is the 4th overall prospect in the league.... Washington
still only has one steal.... Edgar Renteria is Hall bound after hitting his
3,000th. He’ll go with over 500 steals, over 200 homeruns, over 500
doubles, and of course, over 3,000 hits.... Pujols is making a trek for
3,000/500, as in hits and homeruns. He’s 551 from 3,000 and 56 from 500.
He’s signed till 2016... Starting pitchers in San Diego are a robust
4-22... How does Kansas City even have 14 wins, using only 5 pitchers?...
Bryan Bass and Justin Huber will likely have a .400 plus batting average at
the June 1st sim point. Right now Bass is toting a .444 average.
Random Rumblings, the Article.
(By Kingdom_of_Zito)
Right out of the gate, spring training brought to some
the news that some prospects’ potential died, and for some, keys to their
success in 2014 disappeared in the dust. Maybe we really are beginning to
mimic the real world. So who is hurting most in April?
San Diego:
You know you’re in trouble when you have to go out and
trade for Kevin Correia. And that’s all because staff ace Lucas Sarabia is
out for the year. He’s coming off a 2013 season in which he posted a sub 3
ERA, and 230 strikeouts compared to 70 walks. This will be the time for
Robert Roberts to prove his worth. This loss might have killed their season
before it really ever began.
Cont...
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